Never say goodbye

We exchanged glances as we leave the airport. No words. Only smiles. Pretentious smiles.

We know it’s more painful for her than it is for us. But that’s the point. Knowing that she feels bad is what makes me feel worst.

Only Rab would break the silence. Only his innocent mind would ask where is mommy. We did not tell the truth, that she’s leaving for a long time again. Instead, we tried to make a funny story.

“She’s just pooping!”

“She’ll be back immediately.”

That’s the biggest lie we had that day.

But even his innocent mind knows the truth even if it’s deprived from him.

“Mommy ko. I like mommy ko.”

It could have been us saying those words. But we didn’t. The silence is more deafening.

Upon riding the car back home, Rab’s broken voice hints that he gives up.

“Ba-bye, Mommy.”

While the four of us never said goodbye. Our lips have never dared say.

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